


pocket full of sunsh-- 40 packets of haribos?

by 7sagesfromocarinaoftime, CranberryBridge, ghoulemporium, Jean_Prinxe, mysteriousStarlight, occasionally_always, the_maybe, thisisthebadplace



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Humor, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist With a Cane, Multi, Nonbinary Martin Blackwood, Trans Jonathan Sims, Trans Tim Stoker, chat fic, coming together to bully elias, elias gets dunked on, the magnus archives is a workplace comedy, there is no timeline it isnt real, they're all ND until otherwise specified, this is just crack honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27568345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7sagesfromocarinaoftime/pseuds/7sagesfromocarinaoftime, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CranberryBridge/pseuds/CranberryBridge, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulemporium/pseuds/ghoulemporium, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_Prinxe/pseuds/Jean_Prinxe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousStarlight/pseuds/mysteriousStarlight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/occasionally_always/pseuds/occasionally_always, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_maybe/pseuds/the_maybe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisthebadplace/pseuds/thisisthebadplace
Summary: Jonathan Sims:What if we forged receiptsMartin Blackwood:I was going to suggest burning themTimothy Stoker:i was going to suggest saying i lost them but you two went straight for the crimesSasha James:Or...you could just actually take the train...////ORThe Archives Gang makes Elias' life a whole lot more difficult
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker/Sasha James
Comments: 113
Kudos: 360





	1. Just use the emails like a normal boss…

**Author's Note:**

> not all of the co-creators are listed for now, they'll be added in the next few days!  
> \- Atlas (Jon)

**Elias Bouchard started a group chat: Communication with the Archives**

**Elias Bouchard added: Timothy Stoker, Sasha James, Jonathan Sims**

**Elias Bouchard:** Hello. I have been informed via anonymous feedback that text messaging, more so than email, may assist in effective workplace communication. Thus the reason for this group chat.

**Elias Bouchard added: Martin Blackwood.**

**Elias Bouchard:** He must have slipped my mind.

**Sasha James:** Oh, good idea. This will be helpful.

**Elias Bouchard:** I'm glad you think so, Sasha.

**Martin Blackwood:** Slipped your mind?

**Jonathan Sims:** I don't think this is a good idea at all..

**Elias Bouchard:** Apologies, Martin. And Jonathan, please explain.

**Jonathan Sims:** The emails do the same thing, don't they?

**Jonathan Sims:** I mean, no need for a group chat.

**Elias Bouchard:** Yes, but as I just explained (see above message) it seems that text messaging may prove useful for certain situations.

**Elias Bouchard:** We will simply try it out. There is no harm.

**Timothy Stoker:** Was there anything you wanted to talk to us about? Considering you made the group chat?

**Elias Bouchard:** Ah, actually I have noticed that the Archival staff as a whole has been spending a frankly upsetting amount of time slacking off. There is a break in the middle of the work day for a reason. All other hours should be spent on Institute-related projects.

**Elias Bouchard:** This is simply a reminder.

**Sasha James:** Noted. Thank you for the feedback

**Elias Bouchard:** You are welcome, Miss James.

**Timothy Stoker:** Thanks, boss. We'll take that into account

**Jonathan Sims:** I'll take note of it.

**Elias Bouchard:** I appreciate all of your cooperation.

  
  
  


**Timothy Stoker started a group chat: Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker added: Sasha James, Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood**

**Timothy Stoker:** the AUDACITY of that man

**Jonathan Sims:** Just use the emails like a normal boss....

**Timothy Stoker:** making a group chat JUST to accuse us of slacking off

**Martin Blackwood:** He really likes being extra, huh?

**Jonathan Sims:** Honestly...

**Sasha James:** I'm not going to deny it

**Sasha James:** I'm impressed you guys managed to stay civil and professional, honestly

**Timothy Stoker:** did you see me? i was basically  _ vibrating _ with anger

**Sasha James:** Yes, I did notice when the aggressive finger-tapping knocked a file folder off your desk

**Jonathan Sims:** What is it with him and the Archives? Why not bother Research or something…

**Sasha James:** To be honest, I've started to doubt he has character traits other than "obsessively monitoring and nagging the archives"

**Communication with the Archives**

**Sasha James:** Anything in particular you'd like us to be focusing on this week?

**Elias Bouchard:** Good question, Sasha. I believe Jonathan has recently found a number of promising statements. Follow his lead on processing them, if you will.

**Sasha James:** Will do, thank you.

**Elias Bouchard:** You are welcome.

**Elias Bouchard:** Now, if there are no more questions, please return to your work. We do have a reputation to uphold.

**Archives but no elias**

**Sasha James:** "You are welcome" just his you're welcome's sound so patronizing

**Timothy Stoker:** gonna ask him if he has any individual feedback for me. see if he gives me a reason to hate him even more

**Communications with the Archives**

**Timothy Stoker:** I actually do have a question

**Timothy Stoker:** Do you have any feedback specifically for me?

**Timothy Stoker:** If there's any way I could improve my work, I'd like to know

**Elias Bouchard is typing...**

**Archives but no elias**

**Martin Blackwood:** Tim you really are searching for a reason to get angry

**Timothy Stoker:** yes i am

**Martin Blackwood:** Even more than you already seem to be, that is

**Timothy Stoker:** will i regret it later? yes. am i doing it anyway? absolutely

**Jonathan Sims:** Let's see where that goes then. Probably as patronizing as always

**Sasha James:** Your self-destructive tendencies are inspiring as ever, Tim

**Timothy Stoker:** i'm so glad i could inspire you :))

**Timothy Stoker:** he's been typing for a While i'm slightly concerned

**Timothy Stoker:** why does he have so much to say

**Sasha James:** Good question, you're not  _ that  _ bad at your job

**Timothy Stoker:** thank you!

**Timothy Stoker:** i take pride in the fact i'm not _ that  _ bad at my job!

**Jonathan Sims:** I'll ask him what feedback he has specifically for me in a few days so you're not singled out and he doesn't notice the pattern?

**Sasha James:** Yes, we should all do that at some point this week

**Martin Blackwood:** I guess we should

**Sasha James:** He's still typing???

**Martin Blackwood:** How much does he have to say? Tim have you done anything too wrong lately?

**Communication with the Archives**

**Elias Bouchard:** Yes, indeed. Tim, if you would kindly arrive at work on time and leave when the workday is over, and not before. I have noticed that you have become increasingly tardy over time. Every minute counts. Six minutes late adds up. Six minutes every day, for ten days, is an hour. Do you see? Also, I would like for you to follow Sasha's example and use paperclips for the verified statements rather than staples, as staples tend to damage the original files. We can't have that.

**Elias Bouchard:** This might be better for email. I will create a full draft for you once I get a spare hour.

  
  


**Archives but no elias**

**Jonathan Sims:** Since it's Monday, I'll ask on Wednesday, Sasha asks on Friday, Martin asks next Monday?

**Jonathan Sims:** Oh he's sent it finally

**Timothy Stoker:** A FULL DRAFT

**Sasha James:** I can't believe this

**Timothy Stoker:** i'm-

**Jonathan Sims:** Good god, you're not even all that late

**Jonathan Sims:** I've been later than you have

**Martin Blackwood:** 1\. Sounds good, Jon. 2. Remember that  _ you  _ asked for this, Tim

**Sasha James:** An  _ hour _ , Tim! It all adds up!!! /j

**Timothy Stoker:** wow it all adds up

**Sasha James:** You've got to forward us this email

**Timothy Stoker:** don't worry i will

**Timothy Stoker:** jon can do a dramatic reading of it

**Timothy Stoker:** read it as if it's a statement

**Jonathan Sims:** I vote we take the Institute card and buy wine as reparations for the draft while I read it

**Timothy Stoker:** please

**Martin Blackwood:** Sign me up

**Sasha James:** Sounds like a plan

**Sasha James:** You'd better reply before he gets snippy

**Communication with the Archives**

**Timothy Stoker:** Noted

**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** he only gets a one word reply this time

**Timothy Stoker:** thank god you're here sasha i was gonna leave bitchard on read

**Jonathan Sims:** Plan is: Tim goes for a follow-up, I'll give him the card for 'research expenses', and we send him to a winery where he picks the most expensive bottle there

**Timothy Stoker:** sounds good jon

**Sasha James:** I agree. Research expenses are very important, after all ;)

**Timothy Stoker:** very important

**Sasha James:** Get the good wine this time, though, please?

**Communication with the Archives**

**Elias Bouchard:** Good.

**Archives but no elias**

**Jonathan Sims:** He's playing along with the one word thing, 'Good.'

**Timothy Stoker:** hhhhhh

**Jonathan Sims:** Asking about the card. Spend as much as you humanly can if he gives it to us

**Timothy Stoker:** got it

**Timothy Stoker:** you can count on me

**Sasha James:** Don't bother being humanly, even. Channel the energy of whatever creepy things are in the statements and cause as much chaos as possible with that card

**Martin Blackwood:** Scored

**Timothy Stoker:** oh i will

**Communication with the Archives**

**Jonathan Sims:** Elias, I wanted to ask you-- I'm sending Tim out for a follow-up soon, could he use the Institute card for transportation fees?

**Elias Bouchard:** Yes, that is what Institute funds are for, after all.

**Jonathan Sims:** Thanks

**Archives but no elias**

**Martin Blackwood:** Get some snacks as well as the wine

**Jonathan Sims:** Get me some Haribos?

**Timothy Stoker:** oh i'll get you some haribos

**Timothy Stoker:** i'll get as many packets as i can carry

**Jonathan Sims:** When Tim comes back with a shopping cart of Haribos we'll know why

**Jonathan Sims:** Shopping cart of Haribos and fancy wine

**Sasha James:** Throw some ramen in there, will you? I've been out for a few days and I'm too lazy to go shopping

  
  


**Communication with the Archives**

**Elias Bouchard:** You're welcome. And save any receipts, if applicable. I require them for my records.

**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** he wants us to save receipts???

**Communication with the Archives**

**Jonathan Sims:** Will do, not sure if train stations really give them out anymore, though.

**Elias Bouchard:** As I said - If applicable.

**Archives but no elias**

**Jonathan Sims:** What if we forged receipts

**Martin Blackwood:** I was going to suggest burning them

**Timothy Stoker:** i was going to suggest saying i lost them but you two went straight for the crimes

**Sasha James:** Or...you could just actually take the train...

**Jonathan Sims:** He'll see the wine, Haribo, and ramen funds taken out if he checks the account, though

**Sasha James:** No worries, I'll take care of that part :)

**Timothy Stoker:** sasha you're incredible

**Sasha James:** Thanks xoxo

**Jonathan Sims:** I'm not even going to ask what you'll do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elias - ghoulemporium  
> Jon - CranberryBridge  
> Martin - changing_targets  
> Tim - thisisthebadplace  
> Sasha - occasionally_always


	2. Spontaneous combustion of a depressed Tesco's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Short chapter to tide everyone over while we work on a long one!  
> \- Atlas (Jon)

**Archives but no elias**

**Sasha James:** Tim you've been silent for a while now what chaos are you causing at the grocery store

 **Timothy Stoker:** ...no chaos here i'm sure i don't know what you're talking about

 **Sasha James:** Don't pull that with me, Stoker

 **Sasha James:** At least promise you're not going to get kicked out again

 **Timothy Stoker:** i have _never_ caused _any_ chaos _ever_ in my life

 **Jonathan Sims:** Turn on the news, see if they're reporting that he's burned the tesco's down

 **Timothy Stoker:** now that happened AFTER i got kicked out

 **Sasha James:** And yet something tells me there's correlation there

 **Timothy Stoker:** the tesco's was just so sad to see me leave

 **Timothy Stoker:** it simply burned itself to the ground

 **Martin Blackwood:** Jesus christ

 **Jonathan Sims:** Spontaneous combustion of a depressed Tesco's

 **Sasha James:** Asfjlfhgf of course. How could I have ever thought that _wasn't_ what actually happened

 **Timothy Stoker:** i personally think i've done quite a good job here

 **Jonathan Sims:** How much did you end up spending? I need to prepare myself to be screamed at if Sasha's cover up didn't work

 **Sasha James:** Yes, always good to have a plan b!

 **Timothy Stoker:** person who guesses nearest to the amount i spent gets the first packet of haribos

 **Jonathan Sims:** £150?

 **Martin Blackwood:** £125...?

 **Sasha James:** £170 since you're extra chaotic today

 **Timothy Stoker:** you've all underestimated me

 **Timothy Stoker:** twas £350

 **Jonathan Sims:** Oh my god

 **Sasha James:** TIM

 **Martin Blackwood:** Youre joking.

 **Sasha James:** TIMOTHY ALBERTA STOKER

 **Jonathan Sims:** How do you spend that much on wine, haribos, and ramen??

 **Timothy Stoker:** well... funny story... i got there and i happened to also have a shopping list with me

 **Sasha James:** Tim. Tim are you saying you used the institute's card to do your grocery shopping

 **Jonathan Sims:** You've done your grocery shopping with elias' card.

 **Timothy Stoker:** maybe

 **Martin Blackwood:** Tim...

 **Timothy Stoker:** i don't see much of a problem with it

 **Sasha James:** I...yeah okay I support this

 **Sasha James:** At first I thought you just went overboard on the haribos

 **Jonathan Sims:** We're fucked, might as well get drunk with the wine we sent him out for

 **Timothy Stoker:** it's ok i got elias a bottle of wine too so he wouldn't be too suspicious

 **Timothy Stoker:** i'm a good employee

 **Sasha James:** You don't think he'll be suspicious you brought back a bottle of wine from a researching assignment?!

 **Timothy Stoker:** i... may not have thought of that

 **Martin Blackwood:** Obviously

 **Jonathan Sims:** I would be very suspicious if £350 went missing from my account after i gave you my card and you came back with a bottle of wine for me

 **Sasha James:** Well, it's your career I guess, you do you

 **Timothy Stoker:** i mean we can keep it for ourselves

 **Timothy Stoker:** 5 bottles of wine between the 4 of us

 **Jonathan Sims:** FIVE BOTTLES?

 **Jonathan Sims:** We only needed two--

 **Timothy Stoker:** one each!

 **Sasha James:** *5 bottles between the three of you

 **Timothy Stoker:** oh shit i forgot you don't drink

 **Timothy Stoker:** more for us i guess

 **Sasha James:** Have fun with your drunken chaos. I'll be eating my ramen and making sure elias doesn't kill us

 **Timothy Stoker:** you're doing god's work

 **Jonathan Sims:** More for you and Martin because i am not getting blackout wine drunk

 **Timothy Stoker:** are you sure about that jon

 **Timothy Stoker:** are you sure

 **Sasha James:** Uh oh jon :)

 **Jonathan Sims:** Absolutely sure.

 **Martin Blackwood:** I dont drink much. Looks like Tim is getting most of the wine

 **Timothy Stoker:** you all really want me to die don't you

 **Jonathan Sims:** I'm 154cm, I'd have alcohol poisoning after half a bottle

 **Sasha James:** Friendly reminder that it is _not_ required to drink all 5 bottles of wine in one night

 **Jonathan Sims:** Friendly reminder that he will anyways

 **Sasha James:** Yeah, but sometimes I like to be optimistic about his intelligence

 **Martin Blackwood:** Is that really the best idea?

 **Sasha James:** No, probably not

 **Jonathan Sims:** Tim, how are you planning to get all this into the archives

 **Sasha James:** See if Rosie will help you smuggle it down?

 **Jonathan Sims:** We all have bags don't we?

 **Timothy Stoker:** i was just going to walk in and hope for the best

 **Sasha James:** Oh no, let's go with jon's idea

 **Jonathan Sims:** Sasha and Tim use their book bags, Martin and I have messenger bags, and Rosie could help if we can't get it all

 **Sasha James:** I'll empty out my bag, let us know when you get here so we can meet you out front

 **Timothy Stoker:** side note: i just looked up if you can drink 5 bottles of wine without dying and one of the first results was "mother dies after drinking 5 bottles of wine in one day"

 **Jonathan Sims:** It’s me, I'm the mother

 **Sasha James:** Jon, sometimes I worry about you :///

**Jonathan Sims:** Well, that’s what would happen if I consumed even one bottle

**Jonathan Sims:** I’d drop dead.

**Sasha James:** Oh my god why did we have Tim get wine if he's the only one who drinks a lot

 **Timothy Stoker:** we could give rosie elias' bottle! she deserves it

 **Sasha James:** True!! She has to put up with so much from him

 **Jonathan Sims:** That works

 **Martin Blackwood:** I say she deserves a bottle

 **Sasha James:** If he asks her to deliver his divorce papers one more time I'm pretty sure she's going to snap and kill someone

 **Jonathan Sims:** I wouldn't blame her

 **Timothy Stoker:** hopefully it's elias she kills

 **Jonathan Sims:** We can pray it is

**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** i'm here! come and help me smuggle the goods

 **Sasha James:** Omw, god help us all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment its the only serotonin we get  
> \- Atlas (Jon)


	3. No Haribos, no funeral service.

******Archives but no elias**

 **Sasha James:** Maybe we should have brought duffle bags instead of our work bags

 **Martin Blackwood:** Wouldnt that be more suspicious?

 **Jonathan Sims:** More suspicious than the entire Archives going out together with their bags, only to all go in different doors with all their bags and coat pockets more full than before?

 **Jonathan Sims:** No, no. Not more suspicious at all.

 **Martin Blackwood:** Dont be mean about it

 **Timothy Stoker:** yeah jon don’t be mean about it :/

 **Timothy Stoker:** jon sends us to do crimes multiple times a week, i’m sure we can handle sneaking food into the building

  
  
  


**Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas**

**Elias Bouchard:** Peter, something absolutely horrendous is happening in my archives. I must tell you about it immediately.

 **Elias Bouchard:** Respond at your earliest convenience.

 **Peter Lukas:** What is it this time, Elias? This had better be important. 

**Elias Bouchard:** It is important. Otherwise I wouldn’t be text messaging you about it.

 **Peter Lukas:** You see, you say that, but last time you messaged me about something “important,” it was because you had an eyelash in your eye and you were worried that the Beholding no longer liked you.

 **Elias Bouchard:** That was, in fact, important. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.

 **Elias Bouchard:** Anyway, several of my employees are attempting to bring food and beverages into the archives. There are historically significant documents, as well as potent statements, that could be damaged or destroyed by this nonsense.

 **Peter Lukas:** I don’t see how that has anything to do with me.

 **Elias Bouchard:** Well, it isn’t directly related to you. But I thought you might want to share in my disappointment of them. That’s all.

 **Peter Lukas:** What made you think that I’d want to know about your employees bringing food into the archives? 

**Elias Bouchard:** There is no need to be sarcastic with me. I was just thinking of our own history. How we used to share things.

 **Peter Lukas:** And I seem to remember that all of that history you’re talking about happened _before_ we got divorced.

 **Elias Bouchard:** True enough.

 **Elias Bouchard:** No time like the present, however.

 **Peter Lukas:** Didn’t you have some employees to take care of?

 **Elias Bouchard:** Right. Of course. Obviously.

 **Peter Lukas:** I wish you luck.

 **Peter Lukas:** Maybe try to go a few hours before texting me again this time.

**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** i don’t want to alarm anyone

 **Sasha James:** Oh god

 **Timothy Stoker:** but there’s a slight possibility that i might not be quite as sneaky as i originally thought

 **Timothy Stoker:** there are… people here

 **Timothy Stoker:** i think i can sneak past them

 **Jonathan Sims:** Tim, you don’t need to sneak.

 **Jonathan Sims:** It’s all in a backpack, it doesn’t look off to anyone.

 **Jonathan Sims:** You’ll just tip more people off if you go around dramatically tip-toeing

 **Timothy Stoker:** yeah ok point taken

 **Timothy Stoker:** on the other hand… do you think i can fit in a vent?

 **Sasha James:** Timothy Azalea Stoker don't you dare

 **Martin Blackwood:** We all know hes going to try...

  
  


**Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas**

**Elias Bouchard:** Peter. I cannot believe this.

 **Peter Lukas:** What can’t you believe, Elias?

 **Peter Lukas:** I hope you have a good reason for messaging me again.

 **Elias Bouchard:** I always do.

 **Peter Lukas:** I’d have to disagree with you on that.

 **Elias Bouchard:** Oh, I think this one will interest you.

 **Elias Bouchard:** One of my archival assistants is stuck in a vent. _  
  
_

_  
_**Archives but no elias**

 **Timothy Stoker:** ok so i have good news and bad news

 **Timothy Stoker:** good news: i am in the vent

 **Martin Blackwood:** How is that good

 **Sasha James:** If that's your good news I'm scared of what your bad news will be

 **Timothy Stoker:** bad news: the vent was smaller than i thought and i am stuck with my legs hanging out

 **Jonathan Sims:** Of course you are

 **Sasha James:** I see I was right to be scared

 **Jonathan Sims:** Tim was the impostor

 **Sasha James:** Tim was the impostor

 **Martin Blackwood:** Tim was the impostor

 **Timothy Stoker:** this probably wasn’t one of my best ideas

 **Sasha James:** Do you want me to come get you???

 **Timothy Stoker:** i think i can probably get out by myself

 **Timothy Stoker:** i’ll meet up with you all later… once i’ve un-vented myself

 **Timothy Stoker:** shit i think i hear people

 **Timothy:** oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

 **Timothy Stoker:** i cannot express how not good this is

 **Timothy Stoker:** sdfvghjudgfddsfs

 **Timothy Stoker:** of COURSE it’s him

 **Timothy Stoker:** fucking… “hello, tim”

 **Timothy Stoker:** elias is here

 **Jonathan Sims:** Wonderful.

**Archives but no elias**

**Jonathan Sims:** Oh my god.

 **Jonathan Sims:** I am

 **Jonathan Sims:** Cornered.

 **Sasha James:** What happened?? Don't tell me you got caught

 **Jonathan Sims:** Worse.

 **Jonathan Sims:** Someone is trying to get me to go to lunch with them.

 **Martin Blackwood:** oh my god

 **Sasha James:** This doesn't sound like a bad thing, it sounds like a very funny thing actually

 **Jonathan Sims:** The bad thing is that my bag is about a stone.

 **Jonathan Sims:** My shoulder hurts.

 **Jonathan Sims:** Oh my god shut up im trying to walk past but he keeps talking

 **Martin Blackwood:** I dont think hes even looking at the screen now

 **Sasha James:** Yeah no this is really funny

 **Sasha James:** How can he type without looking at it skdjdjf

 **Martin Blackwood:** Well hes not using proper punctuation so he cant do that without looking i guess

 **Jonathan Sims:** I am going to scream i dont want to go get soup who eats soup for lunch 

**Sasha James:** Not the same people who eat forty packets of haribos in a day, I can tell you that

  
**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** soooo..,. guesss who just got caugjt

 **Martin Blackwood:** Oh no

 **Timothy Stoker:** currntly gettin g yelled at by bitchard hinmself

 **Timothy Stoker:** and let me tell u he is NIT HAPPY

 **Martin Blackwood:** Tim no :(

 **Sasha James:** Lkdskfhkadjh noooo

 **Sasha James:** Don't sell us out

 **Timothy Stoker:** curently texting without looking so uhhhjh talk to you layer i guess

 **Timothy Stoker:** i cant see whay anyone’s sayinf but im guedsing it’s not good

 **Sasha James:** I'll just have to glare hard enough that you can feel it from across the building, then

 **Sasha James:** Also sorry to say but Jon's a lot better at texting without looking than you

 **Martin Blackwood:** Yeah, Ive got to agree with sasha on that one

 **Timothy Stoker:** asfgdfhtjmyuki this man

 **Timothy Stoker:** jhate him haste him hate him haye him

 **Timothy Stoker:** “timothy i am incredibly disapitnred” well no shhit i w as IN A VEBT

 **Timothy Stoker:** ND NOW HES GOIBG OFF ABOUT NE VBEING LATE AGAIN??.?

 **Timothy Stoker:** I ASWEAR I’MN NOT THA Y BAD

 **Sasha James:** Lmao this is quality entertainment right here

 **Martin Blackwood:** Maybe youre not that bad time-wise but im pretty sure youre proving that you are that bad texting-wise

 **Timothy Stoker:** did i maention i HATE THR MAN

 **Sasha James:** No we had absolutely no idea. You've never said it before in your life /s

 **Timothy Stoker:** hjs face… so puncheble 

**Martin Blackwood:** I dont want to be a bad employee or whatever but I really cant disagree with you there

 **Timothy Stoker:** he is…. Stil;ll yellig at me

 **Timothy Stoker:** biphobia

 **Timothy Stoker:** all because i was stuck in a bvent

 **Timothy Stoker:** i;m the victim here

 **Sasha James:** And we'll all mourn for you when you finally succumb to elias's anger

 **Sasha James:** Well I'm sure Martin will mourn

 **Sasha James:** I'll probably still be laughing

 **Martin Blackwood:** Maybe i will mourn maybe i wont

 **Martin Blackwood:** It all depends on whether we actually get those haribos

 **Jonathan Sims:** No Haribos, no funeral service.

**Archives but no elias**

**Martin Blackwood:** Oh god i thought we were in so much trouble just now

 **Martin Blackwood:** Head of research just came up to me all suspicious because obviously there are so many haribo packages poking out my bag

 **Martin Blackwood:** It was terrifying

 **Martin Blackwood:** I managed to get out but for a second there I thought it was over for us

 **Martin Blackwood:** You know, when I accepted this job, i didn’t think bribing people with haribos would be part of it _  
  
_

**Archives but no elias**

**Timothy Stoker:** oh my god he finally let me leave

 **Jonathan Sims:** Any limbs missing from that encounter?

 **Timothy Stoker:** is pride a limb

 **Jonathan Sims:** No.

 **Timothy Stoker:** feels like one ://

 **Martin Blackwood:** I’m coming down the stairs to the archives now

 **Jonathan Sims:** I think carrying two bottles of wine, my normal books, and about twenty packets of Haribos for thirty minutes is dislocating my shoulder

 **Martin Blackwood:** Did you not think to take the books out

 **Jonathan Sims:** ...No.

 **Sasha James:** How can you be so smart yet have no common sense /lh

 **Timothy Stoker:** sasha you’re the only one of us with common sense

 **Timothy Stoker:** you should be used to it by now  
 ****

 **Martin Blackwood:** Jon said its my turn on the braincell

 **Timothy Stoker:** why are we still letting jon decide who gets the brain cell? he hasn’t had it for months _  
_

**Sasha James:** Neither have you, Tim. Neither have you

 **Timothy Stoker:** we get it sash you’re the only one who uses the brain cell

 **Timothy Stoker:** maybe let one of us borrow it from time to time ://

**Sasha James to Rosie [Redacted]**

_Sasha James sent a screenshot!_

**Sasha James:** What they don't know is that I lost it months ago

**Archives but no elias**

_Jonathan Sims sent an image!_

_[Image description: Sasha is sat at Jon’s desk with her feet kicked up as she leans back in the swivel chair. In her left hand, she holds a Cup ‘O Noodles, and in her right, a pair of disposable chopsticks. A half-eaten bag of Haribos sits in her lap. The backpack she was wearing is haphazardly balanced on the edge of the desk near a pile of statements that Jon has yet to go through. It is overflowing with ramen and packets of Haribos. Martin can be seen in the chair across from the desk, holding a mug of what is definitely not red wine.]_

**Timothy Stoker:** oh my GOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Lukas - Thisisthebadplace (Alex)  
> Image description of Sasha by Atlas (Jon)  
>   
> We are once again asking for your comments........  
> Serotonin? Spare serotonin?  
> -Atlas (Jon)


	4. quick update

Hello! Bit busy with school right now since I'll be graduating early. We've had a few setbacks so there's no set date for when the next chapter will come out but it IS in progress! As I said last time this happened, please drop your head canons for any characters that you have and we may put them into some upcoming chapters!   
Thanks for reading and being so kind in the comments!  
\- Atlas (Jon)


	5. note 2

Just graduated.  
I'll get everyone back together and see what we want to do with this, but one way or another, it will continue.  
\- Atlas (Jon)


End file.
